ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
