sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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