scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
