Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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