Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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