Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
