For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
