So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
