If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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