My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We need to feng shui this bitch.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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