haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
