Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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