He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
