my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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