fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
