A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize