My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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