In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
