he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
