you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
