He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the day after is always just damage control
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
