new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
