I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
