Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
