I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
