Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
