I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
