did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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