i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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