she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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