so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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