Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
