Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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