This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
