Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
