You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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