She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
