i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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