So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My breasts were aching with rage.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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