why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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