i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
