he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
