how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
