The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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