so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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