have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You smell like stripper and shame
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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