nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
