my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
