in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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