I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
