Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
