Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Life is so much better after having sex.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
