the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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