There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
