STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
