Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
