I puked a lego.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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