so explain again why im purple
no
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
