In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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