He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize