I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
