Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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