But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
