Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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