it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
