i think my mom watched the whole time
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
