I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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