dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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