we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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