Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't you send me to vm
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
