I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize