Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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