she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize